I'm really indecisive. My indecision is at it's worst when whatever I'm trying to figure out only affects me. Co-workers used to tease me for calling my mom to ask her what I wanted for lunch (only to say 'no' to her first few suggestions). Another (fairly well-known) fact about me is that I'm stubborn. Again, I try not to allow my stubbornness to affect others negatively. Usually my stubbornness means I won't allow myself to do something because I'd already declared that I wouldn't. So you see the problem is... I realized that Christmas is in just over a month and I had absolutely no plans other than to get out of Lille.
I very quickly (and with a heavy heart) declined my mom's offer of a ticket home. I don't want to come home for Christmas because it wouldn't be the same without my dad and because I honestly don't have it in me to say goodbye to everyone all over again. Not to mention that I very openly told everyone that I will not be coming home until July and I'm too damn stubborn to change my mind on this. And most importantly, I want to travel more while I have the vacation time.
Now that I had it down to where I'm not going... I needed to narrow it down to where I am going. Anyone that I would have traveled with is actually going home for Christmas or is going somewhere warm. In my opinion, warm and Christmas shouldn't be in the same sentence unless to describe that you were cuddled up next to "a warm fire opening Christmas presents." So, my plan was to travel by myself! There are so many great places to go for the Christmas markets, a white Christmas, and regular old sightseeing. Figuring out which option best suited me was stressing me out. Prague? Krakow? Germany? Vienna? And then I got an invitation that I'm not stupid enough to pass up. After a tearful Skype session with my mom, I finally made up my mind and have tickets booked!
Christmas is no time to experiment with taking an entire trip on your own; especially your first Christmas away from home. I have the rest of my life to see the rest of Europe, so I am overjoyed to say that I am going back to Estonia for Christmas! Talk about a "once-in-a-lifetime" opportunity, right? (I guess both my trips to Estonia can be described this way, as will my third, later this spring.) I'll get to spend the holidays with family after all! And I can't even describe how excited I am to experience their Christmas traditions and share them with my family back home. They may be Pagan but they love Christmas!
Just a few days ago I was dreading the holidays... now the next month couldn't go by any faster! What could be more Christmas-like than this?
Bisous,
-kelse
I caved and bought a ticket home (well, my parents did most of the buying, ahem ahem). I don't regret it, but I'm sure you won't regret your choice either! Estonia sounds lovely and Old World-y. Have fun!
ReplyDelete